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How to Love
Love is a strange thing. It can be the most amazing feeling in the world, or it can really hurt, but in the end love is something most, if not all of us, will face. While there are many different ways to define love and there are many different ways to love someone (even yourself), here is a general guide to loving. Love is the continual act of unconditionally putting the needs of others before your own.
Steps
Say it. When you utter the words "I Love You," do they carry with them the desire to show someone you love them or do they carry with them what you want to feel? And when you say it make sure you really mean it and are willing to do anything for that special person.
Empathize. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Rather than impose your own expectations or attempt to control them, try to understand how they feel, where they come from, and who they are. And realize how they could also love you back just as well!
Love unconditionally. If you cannot love another person without attaching provisos, then it is not love at all, but deep-seated opportunism. Your interest is not in the other person as such, but rather in how that person can enhance your experience of life. If you have no intention of ameliorating that person’s life, of allowing that person to be themselves and accepting them as they are, and not who you want them to be, then you are not striving to love them unconditionally.
Expect nothing in return. That doesn't mean you should allow someone to mistreat or undervalue you. It means that giving love does not guarantee receiving love. Try loving just for loving's sake.
Realize it can be lost. If you realize that you can lose the one you love, then you have a greater appreciation of what you have. Think how lucky you are to have someone to love.
Tips
It does not make you a bad person to desire someone else's love, even if they do not love you. However, to truly love someone, you must let them be free. It is selfish to blame them for their feelings.
There are many types of love, for example: a mother-son love is different from a best friend's love, which is different from a romantic love. Don't be ashamed to tell anyone that you love your friends as much as you love anyone else in your life.
An ebook called "100 Ways to Show Your Love & Affection" by Gloria D. Heffner gives great ideas to add or keep the romance, love & affection in a relationship. The ideas can be tailored to your or your partner's personality(ies).
You have to find someone that will suit you. Someone you feel comfortable with. Not just someone to "do it" with.
As a word, love can be found worldwide and is often used to describe compassion and/or emotional attachment. Accepting those you love for who they are is part of love. You also need to learn to accept yourself before you can accept another. If you cannot love your self, how are you to love another?
Love genuinely. Do not compare your feelings now to what your feelings were when you were with another mate. At times, we can experience rejection.
Warnings
You must love yourself before you can love another.
There is always the risk of getting hurt, but that's part of letting yourself fully love and trust some one. Being hurt could be long-lasting and could hurt more than anything in the world.
Realize what you have while you have it, and care for the person you trust.
If something comes to an end, try to let go rather than holding on; it's for the best.
The idea of love is fueled by childhood fantasies. The love shown in movies, as obtainable as it may be, is rare to say the least.
You just may find your soul-mate sooner than you want to
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发表于 2008-1-12 23:36:54
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